Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
