Dual....:-)
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
