dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
