They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
