Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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