Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
