I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
