Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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