so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
