I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize