wakey wakey hands off snakey
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
