I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
