HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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