god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
