Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
