this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
