So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
