no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
