i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
