We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
