What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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