Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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