I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
