I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
