mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My hand turned me down
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
