I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
where am i from again
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
