Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
