I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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