I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
