i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you didnt know i had herpes?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
