I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
