It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
