You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
