i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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