College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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