Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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