if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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