so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
