It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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