yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You pole danced in your parka.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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