no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
