Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize