and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
