you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
