Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
