What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
