put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
