You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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