so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
