so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
