If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize