Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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