i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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