I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
