I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
