You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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