I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize