i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
