sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize